Flyin' Solo Over the Rhine...

I drove to Asheville to see Over the Rhine tonight in concert. Try as I might, I couldn't find anyone who could accompany me. But I made up my mind to go, so I went. As it turns out, a little solo time was just what I needed. Though I sat in a room crowded with people whose names I'd never heard, I was in a world all my own. This was easily the best performance I've heard yet from OtR, hands down.

I am amazed at the power in music. There is a beauty found in music that is indescribable. Music makes something deep inside me move. Sometimes, when I hear good music, I fall into a whirling cyclone of thoughts, memories and fantasies. Other times reality hits like an 18-wheeler. Music is curious that way. It can conjure a different time or place, and can transport the mind onto the pathways of the heart which it would never dream or dare to tread on its own. Music is powerful, much the way words are powerful. I find I connect to so much of myself within music and words. Perhaps that's why I love songs and books so much. I admire those who can weave a rich tapestry with only a handful of words and notes. Over the Rhine definitely fits this description. I will never, ever tire of seeing them perform or listening to their albums.

Tonight, the band seemed so much at ease, having so much fun. Karin, waving her hands high over her head and spreading her arms wide as she sang, as if she were about to take flight; Linford immersed in his piano, eyes closed, head swaying, while the most intoxicating harmonies flowed from his fingertips. I've seen them play before, and they are always excellent. But tonight, they seemed to really be in their element. Although I sat there alone, I was in my element too, my mind travelling, heart pounding in the presence of so much beauty.

I rolled down my windows and breathed deep the fresh scent of the Pisgah woods as I drove down the mountain towards home. Pisgah has the unique quality of always smelling like it has recently rained even when it hasn't. Other than the wind, it was an outwardly silent ride. But inwardly, the music was still playing. Linford's thick, deep chords and Karin's other-worldly voice still ringing in my ears.

I had a nice night flyin' solo. But, next time I'll take you with me. :)

(Photo by Repoort)

freshly baked tears

Today brought with it the marriage of physical exhaustion and spiritual dryness. I came home from work to a quiet house, a sick puppy, and a mess. Without speaking (which is odd for me, even when I'm alone), I turned on some Over the Rhine and began to unpack from my weekend in Charleston. I cleaned in mental silence, folded laundry and occasionally stopped to pet my sad, sick little puppy's face. At 8 O'clock I went for a walk around the neighborhood with Lindy. I just couldn't stop thinking, even though I tried. When I came home I made some dinner and sat down on the porch to read. I finished a chapter and then decided to see if I could muster up something to blog about.

I felt at a loss for words. I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't stop thinking about all the secret fears which welled up to the surface last night after talking with my roommate about life and loving others. I couldn't stop worrying about my sick dog, and whether she is going to be OK. I couldn't stop feeling guilty for dancing like a crazy woman so many nights in a row that I've become physically exhausted to the point that I can scarcely find the energy to pray. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my roommate, who I've only just begun to know and love so dearly, closed on her house today, marking the beginning of the end of our tenancy together.

And so, in these moments of being trapped between my own thoughts, I decided to read some of my old posts. I chose to read posts under the label "God's Goodness." I read through almost one year's worth of entries speaking the truth of God's goodness to me. Thick, heavy tears came quickly to my eyes and fell down upon my cheeks like stones being thrown into placid water. They seemed to flow from a deep well mixed with joy and sadness at the same time. The ripples are still spreading out, forming large rings in my heart and mind.

Its amazing to me how God will meet me even in my weakness when I am too weak to pray; to weak to do anything with my fear and worry except lay it out honestly and say "I don't know what to do with all of this!!"

I am glad tomorrow is Friday. I get to be with my community group tomorrow night at Barley's. I get to spend my Saturday at home. I get to rest on Sunday - I get to be with my Father and His family.... I long for the fellowship of the Church. I long for the fellowship of Christ. It is good for me to have solitude sometimes. It is good for me to be quiet. It is good for me to remember what is truly important.

(Photo by Caliope)

Rainy Day Writing...

I woke up to this morning to another April shower giving life to the blooming Dogwoods and Redbuds outside. I have the great privilege of spending this entire rainy day at home; alone. My roommate is in Charleston this weekend for the Cooper River Run and I have the house to myself. "What a perfect day for writing," I said to myself as I looked out the window at the gray sky. And writing day it is.

Here I sit in my lovely new study, (compliments of the empty room), with a strong cup of Irish Breakfast tea in my favorite "Hey Roomie" mug from Jenny. My puppy is laying at my feet, perfectly content to work on her "everlasting treat" that I gave her after breakfast. Everything is in place. The lamps are lit, the window shutters are open and Linford is playing a dusty old upright piano somewhere off in the distance. This blog entry is just the preamble. I'm excited to have this day to work on all my random writing projects in turn.

"tip-tip-tip-tap-tap-tip-tip-tap-tap-tap."

The sound of my fingers hitting the keys blends musically with the rhythm of the raindrops. Ahhh.....I have needed a day of solitude for quite some time now. Tis a happy rainy Saturday indeed. :)