Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Goodnight Moon...


Last night my roommate and I bundled ourselves in our warmest coats, scarves and hats. We packed a bottle of wine and the quilt off of the couch. We drove into the mountains, to a place where the trees clear to reveal a wide, smooth rock that looks out over the city and the foothills. It's called Bald Rock. I used to come up to this place often when I was in college. I knew it would be the perfect place to visit the moon. It was pretty much deserted when we arrived. We found a spot where the rock seemed to dip in, like a deep ladle. We spread out our blankets and settled underneath them to wait for the eclipse. I suggested we tell each other stories while we waited. Lindsay didn't get too far with the story she began, so I took over. When the end finally came, she paused for a moment and then said teasingly, "You read too many books, you know." :) I smiled and took it as a great compliment.

The rock had slowly filled with people by the time my story ended. There were groups, small and large gathered across the long cold stone. Some had built small fires and I could see the outline of their faces against the warm orange glow in the distance. Others were standing near the edge of the mountain where all that lighted in the darkness were the ends of a few lone cigarettes. Couples trailed off two by two. And still others sat in half circles laughing and huddling together for warmth. What began as a quiet murmur of voices was now a loud chorus of various conversations.

And then I heard the faint strumming of a guitar. It came from somewhere off to my right. The strumming became louder and the voices seemed to die away. And then a single, clear, beautiful voice sang out into the darkness. No one spoke as the guitar strummed and the girl sang. It was as if her song had temporarily put everyone into a compulsory silence. I blinked as I looked up at the sky and then I was in another time, another place.

I was 19, and I was standing on the balcony of a dormitory at Furman listening to a couple of guys talk about Jesus. We sang out praises to the Lord with the strumming of their guitars and we held nothing back in our songs. Then I was leaning against a tree, deep in the Colorado Rockies, where twenty minutes seemed like a lifetime, and a shooting star assured me that my prayers had been heard. Then it was Easter morning before the sun had risen. I was 21 that year and had no idea what the next steps for my life were. I sat on the great rock with my dear friend Beth waiting for dawn and the promise of new life and resolved to trust and follow even though I could not see exactly where the Lord was taking me. The rock then turned to grass, and it was late on a midsummer's night in a garden in southern Germany. I was laying on my back with Jenna, pointing out constellations, discussing life and marvelling at how we had landed ourselves half way across the world. Then I found myself in a candlelit room with 6 or 7 other precious women whose hands were laid on my head, arms, legs and back as they covered me with their prayers. Then the room disappeared and I was once again standing on this same Bald Rock, not quite one year ago, weeping as I held out my heart before the Lord, broken and bleeding.

I blinked. The end of the girl's song seemed to jolt me back into the present. I looked up at the moon and it was almost completely shadowed in deep bronze. Only a sliver of silver remained. As I took in the great expanse of sky above me I noticed that thousands and thousands of stars had appeared in the absence of the moon's glow. Hot tears stung my cold face and I felt the weight of God's bigness and vastness sweep over me. He met me there in those moments and whispered the evidence of his goodness and the fulfillment of His promises to me just as Jesus explained all of the law and the prophets to the disciples on the road to Emmaus. And like them, my heart burned within me.

It is still winter here, where I live. But I can see and feel the first signs of spring as surely as the daffodil buds push their way through the cold ground in my yard.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Outstretched heart...


There is a strange sensation that comes from giving oneself away. I think our culture lies to us when it tells us that the greatest pleasure and joy comes from seeking self-satisfaction. I have felt jaded and slightly empty of late, and I think it is because I have not been giving my life away. I was pleasantly surprised today when circumstances thrust me into several situations where others had to come first. This is a hard thing to do, but oh the wonder of how it fills up the dry caverns in my soul.

I found myself in a conversation with a friend this afternoon which I cannot mention explicitly but I will say moved me in the deeper places of my heart. My heart broke for her. I felt there were so many things I needed to say to her, and I'm sure I didn't say them all very well. But whatever I did say, I can see that God is at work in them. I prayed much today, and none of it was about me. I felt renewed after tasting again the sweetness of intercession for those who don't know how to pray for themselves. Its been awhile.

When I came home tonight I overheard my roommate on the telephone talking to a colleague about a difficult situation at school. (She teaches kindergarten.) When I asked her if she wanted some tea, she began to cry. My heart broke for her as well. I hugged her. Shortly thereafter, she asked me if I would go to the Asian market with her to help her find what she needed to prepare an elaborate "Korean feast" for her students and their parents on Friday. She seemed overly stressed, and I couldn't refuse such a humble request. My sole mission quickly became finding the strange ingredients needed for a Korean dish we didn't even have a proper recipe for. We went to two different Asian stores on opposite sides of town, called a Korean store, and even called one of my half-Korean friends to ask his mom for help. I quickly forgot about whatever I had planned on doing this Wednesday evening. We finally had everything resolved, ingredients found, and recipes complete. Then I made dinner for us and felt that all was well with the world. I even shared my lasagna with my puppy because she makes me smile inside that she is safe at home. :)

Perhaps this has become somewhat of a ramble tonight, but I think there is something to it. There is something good about putting people and relationships before activities and schedules. There is something life giving in the process of giving your life away to others. I used to live in that world more than I do now. I miss it.

A wise king once said, "Cast your bread upon the waters, for after many days you will find it again." (Ecclesiastes 11:1) This is what is so beautiful about the body of Christ. He made himself everlasting bread for us - and we are casting our bread out to others. Oh, how sweet is the life found in it!

I want a bigger heart to pour out and wider hands to stretch open.

(Heart in Hands photo by Wolfsoul)

Friday, December 07, 2007

midnight meltdown

So I went to this fantastic wine tasting party last night with a bunch of girls. I ended up actually leading the wine tasting, after Nina spontaneously nominated me for the job. My disclaimer was that I only know anything because I read it in a book somewhere. :) We tasted twelve delicious wines and ate some yummy cheeses and other wine-loving goodies. Needless to say, I was glad that I didn't drive.

Nina and I got back to my house around midnight. I am so thankful she came inside with me because little did I know that I was about to have a major midnight meltdown. I found a note on the kitchen counter telling me that my dog, Lindy, had run away and that she was nowhere to be found. I cannot describe the despair that overtook me in that moment. Some may think it silly, but if you have ever loved an animal the way I love this puppy, you'd understand. All of the worst case scenarios kept running through my head. We live near 3 main roads so I was sure she would get hit by a car in the dark. It doesn't help that she's black. I was fairly certain she was smart enough to find her way home, but I wasn't thinking straight. I was panicked. I couldn't drive to go look for her. I had no way of knowing where to look. I probably would have started walking around the neighborhood in the freezing cold if Nina hadn't forced me to go to bed. I think I cried for about an hour. I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up this morning around 5am to the pitter-patter of puppy feet in my room. SHE CAME HOME!!! HALLELUJAH!!! My roommate must have let her in. I jumped out of bed and sat on the floor with my puppy in my arms and cried again. Then I went back to sleep for a few hours. I am so grateful for good friends like Nina. I am so grateful my Lindy came home, safe and sound.

I feel emotionally drained and mildly hung-over from the events of last night. I need a good nap.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Casella and Portland: new music and new friends


What a wonderful Friday I had. I needed a happy Friday. It has now ushered in a beautiful Saturday morning. I have high hopes for an equally fantastic day.

I had the pleasure of hearing Jeremy Casella play last night at Portland Studios. It was a nice laid back gathering with old friends, new friends, decaf coffee from Leopard Forest, PIE, and excellent music. Jeremy's lyrics are poignant and make me think. I really like his musical style. His strong melodic themes had me humming even after I left. And I think its really cool when artists play the harmonica. I am a sucker for harmonica solos. Jeremy had a few sweet harmonica moments. If you haven't heard of him, you should check him out. Its worth it. Listen to Jeremy's music here.

Another thing I really liked about Jeremy was his honesty and realness. He shared stuff from his life that really gave his songs weight and made them relative to his listeners. I usually think of a good audience as one which embraces the musician. I found that Jeremy is a great musician and performer because he embraces and welcomes his audience with open arms. It was so refreshing to hear someone perform seemingly without pretense.

On that same note, the guys at Portland Studios carry that same sentiment. What a generous sense of welcome and ease I felt the moment I walked in. More than one person greeted me and made me feel almost at home. There is always a hint of uncertainty when entering a new place with unknown people for the first time. That uncertainty quickly melted away for me there. Here is a group of incredibly talented people, not only in their work, but also in their hospitality. Everyone should check out their website, and buy their first self-published book, a new take on Beowulf, which will be released November 15, 2008.

Here's props to Jeremy Casella and Portland Studios. Way to be real, guys... Many thanks. :)

(Image: Album cover of Jeremy Casella's newest record, "Recovery.")

Saturday, October 13, 2007

mountain air, strong coffee, and jennster von loves-a-lot-son


I rose early this morning and drove to the mountains. The morning sun streamed down through a canopy of the brightest green as I wound my way through the countryside leading up to Tryon, NC. At the end of the road I was met with fresh mountain air, a pot of strong coffee brewing, and my dear friend, Jenny Morris, aka Jennster von Loves-a-lot-son. This is a rare treat for me because Jenny lives far away in Memphis. Luckily her folks live in Tryon, only a 45 minute drive away from me. She was home this weekend, so I jumped at the chance to see her.

We poured our coffee and sat on her parents' back porch which has one of the most incredible views I've seen this side of Colorado. We talked about life, God, boys, and old friends among other things. We seem to both be settling into the idea that life isn't about where we used to be or where we want to be but rather where we are right now. I suppose life has many seasons and those season are always changing, but it helps to know what season you are in, so you can embrace it fully. We both agreed that we are in a season of singleness and as much as everyone around us seems to think this is not such a great thing, we're both realizing that it isn't such a terrible season. There's beauty in it, adventure, quietness and hope. I want to live in the present without dwelling on what used to be, or what will maybe one day be. I came across this verse this morning in Isaiah. I found it to be quite fitting:

"Forget the former things; Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now, it springs up; Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:18-19)

We also talked about music, writing, and blogging. Yes, I admit it, I am a total blog-nerd-internet-junkie-woman. But, if you are one of those too, then you should check out this website that Jenny showed me. Its her friend Amy's blog and she has some amazing thoughts to share. Jenny also introduced me to a new band. I like their sound a lot. Check out Newcomers Home.

It was such a sweet time. I miss her already.

How is it that some people always make you feel at home? I've felt more at home in the presence of dear friends like Jenny than I have sometimes felt in my own house.
God is so good for giving me such a wonderful happy Saturday gift. :)

I want to be more grateful than I am.