Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

October Approaches...


October approaches. Crispness
creeping into air,
leaves rustling with color
pressing rusty hand prints into
sidewalks.

Time for socks and sweaters,
pipes and patched scarves.
Time to bring together
warming lover's hands
on long walks under fading
evening skies.

October smells
of freshly sharpened pencils,
sticks of cinnamon,
distant campfires and
pine needles fallen.

Children grow tall
in October,
their minds and legs
stretching out
before my eyes.
I blink and they are changed.

Anticipation spills over.
Unexpected beauty of a new morning
thrills me with pleasant
surprise.

I should never want to know
a world without
Octobers.

Monday, July 28, 2008

The High Desert

Last night I spent my first evening in the high desert. It is not at all what I expected. I didn't expect a desert to have cool weather, or so much life and beauty. Its funny how a desert can be so alive. There are animals everywhere and trees growing out of rocks. The Glen Workshop is held at St. John's College which is at an altitude of around 7500 feet. The sky is probably the most amazing part about this place so far. Its the most unbelievable sky I've ever seen. So blue, with huge, fluffy clouds moving across the mountains in ever changing forms. The sun is brighter here it seems, and creation just sings all around me. I did manage to find the only patch of grass on campus this afternoon and take a nap in it. Its easy to relax here. Its easy to rest.

I met Linford and Karin of Over the Rhine last night, and of course I acted like a complete spaz fangirl. I felt like a deer in headlights and walked away kicking myself for turning into a complete goober upon meeting them. However, this morning I was able to redeem myself by having an opportunity to tell my story and listen to the stories of others. I realized that I am not the only rabid fan in the high desert this week, so that was a relief. We spent the first class telling stories and remembering how music has played a role in each of our lives. It was deeply moving and I feel as though any barriers that might have prevented us from being vulnerable with each other as a group came down through that time. By telling my story and thinking about my life and music I was able to identify some areas where I really struggle with the art of creating. I am really looking forward to this week, hoping to grow in multiple avenues.

The community here is vibrant and unique, and already I've made some good friends. This blog has been more informative than creative, but my mind is still in "processing" mode after such an emotionally stimulating morning. I'll be sure to post some of the creative juices later in the week, when and if they start to flow.

At Brittany's request I've been taking "oodles" of pictures. So I'll leave you with a few shots of the incredible show sky put on for us last night. :)



Thursday, March 13, 2008

the color of dusk

I wish my eyes were like wide lens cameras. I am always wishing that the images I see with my eyes could be recorded, exactly as I see them, for me to come back to and revisit again and again. It would be great if I could flip through the images that enter my pupils like slides on a screen. Or like one of those little Fisher Price View-Masters I had as a kid, with the circular reels of miniature slides. I used to love putting those big plastic binoculars up to my eyes and clicking through the pictures. If my mind’s eye were like the View-Master, each time I blinked it would click to the next image, captured perfectly for me to enjoy again and again.

I was thinking about this tonight as I was squeezing in my run just before dusk. I wished that my eyes were able to permanently capture the beauty in the sky so that I could share it with everyone when I got home. But then, I guess that’s what writing is for, so here goes.

The coming of dusk tonight reminded me of a water color painting that I bought in a snow covered square in St. Petersburg several years ago. The sky was rent with long horizontal brush strokes fanning upward in colors of orange, pink, pale blue and ivory. The colors quickly became richer and thicker, hiding the sun behind dark indigo blue and purple like the color of cone flowers. Slender streaks of rose seemed to extend out from underneath the dark blue cloak of clouds, back lighting the sky with lavender hues. I passed the white steeple of “El Camino,” the Iglesia Evangelica whose bright silhouette stood out as if it were a picture in a pop-up book. It was the opposite of the bare trees whose thin branches looked charred like the color of charcoal against the sky’s canvas.

When I rounded the corner on the last stretch of my run, the clouds overhead had blended into the deep gray of evening. The vibrant colors which lit the sky moments before had faded into darkness now. I looked down and noticed a sharp black shadow moving over the flashing marquee of the S&S Cafeteria and the intermittent blinking of red and green from the stoplights. I didn’t recognize it at first, but after a moment I realized that it was me.

(Photo by jpstanley)

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Juno: I give it many thumbs up!

Well folks, its my turn to try my hand a little movie review!

A couple of months ago I was riding along in my car, listening to the local "public" radio which is code for "cool indy jazz n blue grass." One of the things I like about this radio station is that they play cool things I've never heard before. So on this particular morning, I heard a song that the DJ said came from the soundtrack of a movie called "Juno." I'd never heard of the movie before, nor did I have any idea what it was about, but by the end of the song I was convinced I would like it. Its funny to me how I can make a judgement call on a film based on the soundtrack. Strange as that may be, my calculations were correct. Two months later, I finally made it to the theater to see Juno for myself.

I think this is one of the most honest films I have seen in a long time. The characters are witty and edgy, yet beautifully human and down to earth. Its the story of a teenage girl who gets pregnant, and how the experience helps her to better understand who she is, what love is really about, the importance of family and how much she has left to grow up. Its artfully done, with an excellent script and creative cinematography. But underneath all the surface humor and candidness are serious life lessons and hard questions that everyone asks themselves deep down.

Its the stuff of life via a mouthy teenager. I love that. Its honest. Its real. And it speaks volumes. Not to mention it has an excellent soundtrack. (If you're into weird music like I am.)

So, I highly recommend JUNO. I give it many thumbs up. Go see it, if you haven't already. This one has definitely earned a spot in my DVD collection. :)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Goodnight Moon...


Last night my roommate and I bundled ourselves in our warmest coats, scarves and hats. We packed a bottle of wine and the quilt off of the couch. We drove into the mountains, to a place where the trees clear to reveal a wide, smooth rock that looks out over the city and the foothills. It's called Bald Rock. I used to come up to this place often when I was in college. I knew it would be the perfect place to visit the moon. It was pretty much deserted when we arrived. We found a spot where the rock seemed to dip in, like a deep ladle. We spread out our blankets and settled underneath them to wait for the eclipse. I suggested we tell each other stories while we waited. Lindsay didn't get too far with the story she began, so I took over. When the end finally came, she paused for a moment and then said teasingly, "You read too many books, you know." :) I smiled and took it as a great compliment.

The rock had slowly filled with people by the time my story ended. There were groups, small and large gathered across the long cold stone. Some had built small fires and I could see the outline of their faces against the warm orange glow in the distance. Others were standing near the edge of the mountain where all that lighted in the darkness were the ends of a few lone cigarettes. Couples trailed off two by two. And still others sat in half circles laughing and huddling together for warmth. What began as a quiet murmur of voices was now a loud chorus of various conversations.

And then I heard the faint strumming of a guitar. It came from somewhere off to my right. The strumming became louder and the voices seemed to die away. And then a single, clear, beautiful voice sang out into the darkness. No one spoke as the guitar strummed and the girl sang. It was as if her song had temporarily put everyone into a compulsory silence. I blinked as I looked up at the sky and then I was in another time, another place.

I was 19, and I was standing on the balcony of a dormitory at Furman listening to a couple of guys talk about Jesus. We sang out praises to the Lord with the strumming of their guitars and we held nothing back in our songs. Then I was leaning against a tree, deep in the Colorado Rockies, where twenty minutes seemed like a lifetime, and a shooting star assured me that my prayers had been heard. Then it was Easter morning before the sun had risen. I was 21 that year and had no idea what the next steps for my life were. I sat on the great rock with my dear friend Beth waiting for dawn and the promise of new life and resolved to trust and follow even though I could not see exactly where the Lord was taking me. The rock then turned to grass, and it was late on a midsummer's night in a garden in southern Germany. I was laying on my back with Jenna, pointing out constellations, discussing life and marvelling at how we had landed ourselves half way across the world. Then I found myself in a candlelit room with 6 or 7 other precious women whose hands were laid on my head, arms, legs and back as they covered me with their prayers. Then the room disappeared and I was once again standing on this same Bald Rock, not quite one year ago, weeping as I held out my heart before the Lord, broken and bleeding.

I blinked. The end of the girl's song seemed to jolt me back into the present. I looked up at the moon and it was almost completely shadowed in deep bronze. Only a sliver of silver remained. As I took in the great expanse of sky above me I noticed that thousands and thousands of stars had appeared in the absence of the moon's glow. Hot tears stung my cold face and I felt the weight of God's bigness and vastness sweep over me. He met me there in those moments and whispered the evidence of his goodness and the fulfillment of His promises to me just as Jesus explained all of the law and the prophets to the disciples on the road to Emmaus. And like them, my heart burned within me.

It is still winter here, where I live. But I can see and feel the first signs of spring as surely as the daffodil buds push their way through the cold ground in my yard.

Monday, December 17, 2007

When dreams learn to fly...


I had an excellent cry this evening. I'm not exactly sure why. It could be for a thousand reasons. It could be because I have been wading into my memory lately. It could be because there is so much longing inside me I think my heart could break. It could be because of the simple, commonplace beauty that I encounter every day. Today I encountered a chilling breeze in the shade followed by a blast of warmth from the sun as I walked down Main Street. I encountered the sound of a puppy's feet scampering across the floor and the weight of her head on my knee. It could be because I laughed with my best friend on the telephone today. Tears well up in my eyes just thinking of how much I miss her. It could be because I read an excerpt from Job last night that made me sad. Perhaps it is because I saw art this week that gave me license to dream. It could be because tonight I listened to something so beautiful that the only appropriate response was to cry. It could be because my life is a part of greater story. Our lives are part of a greater story, one that digs deep, stirs the pot, and breaks up the places that need to be broken. And in the end of that story is life - life which we've only dreamed of, but always hoped for.

It could be a combination of all of these things.

I want to dream more. I want to write down more of my dreams. I want to dive into my imagination without fear. I want to create. I want to experience beauty every day. I want to fly. I want to love with all my heart.

There is beauty and sorrow in the world that can only warrant such a response as to weep. Sometimes I think we need it.

(Art by Janina Tukarski Ellis)